Mom, it is not what you think

I have to tell about the moment I met my best friend. We were both 10, Howie and I just feel we were made to be together for the rest of our lives. We were the perfect match, while I was shy, Howie was pretty noisy and talkative; I was very scary, Howie was very brave; If I fell down, Howie was there kissing my scratches.

 He came at the perfect moment. When mom and dad were cursing at each other Howie used to hug me and to whisper in my ear how loveable I was, when the ghosts and monsters under my bed attempted to hurt me, he was there confronting them, that was all I needed.

 Later when we turned 12 and my parents told me they were breaking off I cried during several days, Howie tried to make me laugh while fooling around with my clothes.

• Do not be sad anymore or I will shave your Barbie’s head– he said.
• You would not be saying that if they were your parents – I answered. Immediately I regretted of what I said when I looked into his sad eyes, Howie had no parents, or I never met them.

After the divorce, I moved with my mom, but that was not an obstacle for our friendship, despite of the distance he used to visit me when I had a bad day at school or when mom did not let me hang out with my dad.

When I turned 15 Howie did not visit me for a long while, neither call me nor send a letter. I talked to my mom about him, she could not remember Howie and all the times he went to home and school with me. Two days later when Melissa, my new friend, changed to another school, he visited me again and we spent the rest of the week together, then I noticed Howie had never changed, he was the same little kid but his thoughts were deeper. I told him how sad I was without him, so, we promised never get away from each other beyond the death.

Since mom could not remember him I introduce him to her, but she continued asking me where he was and why I had cuts on my wrists. I told her that Howie and I made a promise that he was wearing cuts on his wrists too; however, she did not trust me. I felt so embarrassed with Howie, mom did not say hello or anything just ignore him and keep asking me nonsense questions.

Four days later, she introduced me to one of her “friends”, who hurt us, Howie and I. She told me that I should stop listening to what Howie said, that he would kill me if I kept listening to him, but I did not trust her, Howie had always been my friend, he hugged me during hard times. She was lying, for sure she was, I told her that but she and other big men forced to take some pills. Few days later Howie was lying on the room floor while bleeding, I was screaming for help but none did anything, they let him die. Mom was crying but I know she was not sorry.

I have to keep my promise; I am going to meet Howie again.

Written by Lizbeth Diaz EIP 2019 UAPA